Do They Love You Or Hate You?
January 21, 2008
Face it. Not everyone is going to love you. It doesn’t matter how good your customer service is, or how much you care about your customers. Some people are still going to hate it if you take a strong stand for anything.
In fact, it seems like some people on the Internet are just naturally angry.
I remember one person on my list. Every time I published any email, he would send back nasty comments about why he hated what I said…and just how much I sucked (along with quite a few other choice phrases I won’t mention here).
One day I simply removed him from the list and blocked him out from the list. Guess what? He sent a message wondering why he wasn’t receiving my emails anymore! All he had done up till that point was complain about each and every one. Yet, he wanted his opportunity to complain!
I don’t know if you have a personal hater on your list, but you will have people who rant and rave about what you say.
When you have a successful business online, some people are going to hate you.
You have to learn to live with it. If you let them get to you, they’re going to drag you down to their level.
Just keep going. Just keep publishing. Just keep being who you are.
And this is what it really comes down to. So many people are dissatisfied with their own life and who they are, they feel it’s their job to attack everyone else to try to get them to feel as bad as they do inside.
Here’s a simple rule…
People should love you or hate you. Don’t let them ignore you.
If you’re simply parroting other people or you’re avoiding confrontation, you’re easy to ignore. Of course you’re not getting the hate mails.
On the other hand, you’re not making money either (at least not what you could be making).
Make some waves. Take a bold stand on a controversial subject.
Want to know one of my emails that got the most complaints ever (over 50 hate filled emails - not just removes)? It was simply an email how you couldn’t just hand someone $1,000 or $2,000 and you’ll instantly have a business without work. Obviously a whole bunch of people (at least 50) had done that recently and felt the need to defend their wrong decision. A business takes work plain and simple. A strong stance on an obvious subject like that can even bring the hate.
What strong stances are you taking?
What bold statements are you making?
Look for common ideas and misconceptions in your market. Then slap them!
Find common myths to confront.
For example, since many were pitching a business with absolutely no work, I stood against it. Our goal is to produce a business where we Earn More While Working Less, but it will take you additional work in the short term to produce the systems to allow you to work less in the long-term.
Make a list of common myths and misconceptions in your market. Then begin confronting these boldly!
Be unique. Be a voice instead of just an echo.
Think about anyone who is successful. Controversy surrounds them. Sometimes it’s in a good way and others it’s in a bad way. Either way, it’s still a part of their life.
Some love them. Some hate them. It’s when the majority are simply ignoring you that you’re missing something.
How many people love you?
How many people hate you?
How many people are just ignoring you?
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14 Responses to “Do They Love You Or Hate You?”
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Hi terry
I love your post. thanks for sharing to me.
Terry , I couldn’t agree more, I generally break it down this way, 40% will love you, 40% will hate you, and the other 20% are on the fence, our job should be to win a measure of that 20% . No one likes to be disliked , but it is as sure as the sun coming up someone will
Hey Terry
Great post, I honestly don’t care if people hate
me, that’s their choice.
But I get so many positive emails that far outweigh
the bad!
Sally
Dear Terry,
Well said. We all like approval but it’s ridiculous to expect it from everyone - especially when we’re putting ourselves in front of an audience as large as the web.
Sally, I haven’t gotten to the point where I honestly don’t care if people hate me. I’ll try to follow your example.
Joe
Hi Terry,
I always get some of these emails. I used to stupidly answer to defend my point of view. I just stopped doing it. It’s time consuming, morally draining and it won’t change a thing. I just hit the delete message button and its bye bye.
Remy
A question for folks: How often has a critical email been helpful in some way?
Dan Kennedy said, “If your marketing efforts are not pissing off a certain percentage of your audience, then you’re doing soemthing wrong.” Marketing is one area where the MINORITY rules! If you send out a mailing, and 97% of the recipients THROW IT AWAY, it’s a giant success! I heard someone add a great tagline to a quote from the Bible… “The truth will set you free — but it will piss you off first!” — Maybe that Godin quote should really say, “Be cursable.”
Cheers!
– TW
Thanks Terry for another wonderful post.
There has been so many deceptions where I reside about Internet Marketing and I have been playing it safe despite the fact that I have a voice.
Now I have to voice out all thanks to your post
Sure prepared to have some people hate me
I was trying to remember who said this statement:
Dan Kennedy said, “If your marketing efforts are not pissing off a certain percentage of your audience, then you’re doing soemthing wrong.”
This is right, you can’t please everybody.
the same applies in everyday life? Hmm, I’m just thinking about what I’ve just said…
Isn’t Internet marketing a part of our everyday life?
Awesome post Terry. I wanted to have information about your coaching program, you said that it will change, but how?
Wanted to know a little bit more. I was going to join your monthly newsletter, but I don’t know, I want to see what the one o one program has to offer.
Thank you everyone for responding!
One thing I should add to this. While some people will hate you for your opinion, you should make sure you’re not giving them a “right to hate you.”
Some marketers use the above facts for a reason to be jerks and treat your customers like dirt. That’s most definitely not what I’m referring to.
I’m telling you to be boldly yourself…and let people hate you if that’s their choice. You be honest and continually treat people with the respect you deserve.
Franck, you asked about the coaching program…details will be coming on that in a couple of weeks when I finish a major project I’m working on.
Hi Terry,
When it comes to the love-hate response in people… in no forum is this principle more pronounced than it is in politics! Imagine reading the Clinton’s mail… or the Bush’s mail!
Whether people see you as a beacon or a bullseye, when you’re in a spotlight, you’re in a spotlight. And that’s just the way it goes. If there’s any words or opinions worth taking to heart - it’ll come from those closest to your heart. Other than that, most of the rest is just background noise.
I’m waiting for this Terry, thank you.
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