What Are the Desires in Your Heart?

Recently I asked Regina Baker:
“I see a lot of people marketing online who don’t seem to accomplish much. How do advise people when they need to accomplish more work related projects in less time?”

You can find her answering this question on her blog in this article: Accomplish More Work Related Projects in Less Time

As an additional question, Regina pointed to one of my previous articles: “Whose Goals Are You Working Toward?”:

The key principle is to plan the life YOU and your spouse want…not what anybody else says or thinks for you. It’s hard to reach other people’s goals…and you won’t like the life you create for them either!

She said…

“That particular message is very near and dear to me. Been there done that in a NM company I was quite successful in a few years ago and they taught some of the same principles you mentioned in that post. BUT the part that I had to learn (after I lost A LOT) was that I was living someone else’s dreams and expectations of who they thought I should be and how my income should have been spent, such as luxury cars, clothing, etc. Don’t get me wrong, I love nice things but there is a process to everything.

There are SO many people in Direct Sales, Network Marketing, MLM and now even Internet Marketing who are literally at the brink of going broke working to emulate someone else instead of focusing on their dreams and goals. I also think a lot of people are deceived because they innocently look for mentors but are also being blindly led.

If I may be so bold here, how do you teach others how to avoid this type of mind manipulation and/or deception?

That’s a good question. In fact it’s such a good question that it’s a little difficult for me to answer.

It’s only the past year or two that I started figuring out this answer for myself…but I was specifically asked how I “teach others” to avoid this type of deception. The correct answer is that I don’t really teach others how to avoid this type of problem right now, because I haven’t come up with a “system” to teach it to others.

So I’ll just answer the question from my own experience.

When I first started online I was in serious debt, so my income for the first two years went primarily to paying off debts and getting out of the hole. Once I got past there, I went crazy for a while buying “all the things.”

Just in terms of sporty cars, in the past several years I have owned a BMW 328, Mustang Cobra, Honda S2000, and a Roush Mustang Convertible (all paid for with cash). In expensive toys I bought 2 ATVs, 3 motorcycles, a boat, a pool, and a spa. My home has a movie theater room with projector, movie screen, surround sound, etc.

Yet what I found was the more toys I picked up, the more work there was having them maintained. So instead of finding them all fun, I found they were a pain in the butt. Of the list above, the only item above I would buy again is the spa (my wife and I love it). Maybe one of the motorcycles (I like my Kawasaki Ninja 650). All the cars above have been sold along with the other motorcycles. The boat and one of the ATVs will go next.

Why all these toys? I allowed advertising and other people’s opinions to influence me about what I should have and what I should drive. While each of the vehicles was fun for a time, they all ended up being impractical with other lifestyle choices I make…such as living way out in the country where the roads aren’t as well taken care of. Our Toyota Tundra is a whole lot better for here…especially when we get heavy snows.

My wife and I have had to sit down multiple times and ask ourselves what it is we want. What is most important to us?

The beauty of an Internet business is you can design a lifestyle you love. Figure out what you want to do in life regarding where you live, what you buy, where you vacation, etc. What are 100 goals you would like to accomplish in your life? Then create a business that allows you accomplish all this.

If you want to travel, do so. If you hate traveling, don’t do it. If you want an RV, put that in your plans. For your home, get the one you want.

We’re considering moving again to somewhere warmer when Julie gets out of nursing school (we always seem to be considering this as it starts to get cold in Indiana). If we do so, we will actually buy a smaller home next time.

What? Did I really say we would get a smaller home? Yes. I said it. Two rooms in our current house are NEVER used. There is no point to them whatsoever.

As already mentioned in my previous post, my wife and I don’t often eat at expensive restaurants because she hates the majority of them.

So we don’t fit the model lifestyle of an “Internet entrepreneur.”

I don’t like to travel, don’t care about expensive vehicles anymore, and would buy a smaller home if we moved. If you’re wondering what my wife thinks about that, she cares a whole lot more about being near places to hike with our dogs than the home or items we have.

Let me provide another example. My wife has worked with me for over 10 years now, but she has always wanted to do something in the medical field since she was a child. So she went back to school and is currently in RN classes. Her help and involvement in the business has been and would continue to be worth more than what she will earn as a nurse, but that is something she has always wanted. So we’re willing to take the hassles involved of having multiple people take on the responsibilities she did before.

I don’t fit the “norm” for an Internet entrepreneur at all, but so what? I never fit in with a job either. It’s our life, and we’ll live it in a way we enjoy…not based on everyone else’s desires.

The key is to figure out what the desires of your heart are. What’s really deep inside you that you’re passionate about? Too often advertising or other people’s opinions affect your surface viewpoints and desires, but the real truth is inside you.

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